Seriously, what impact will this have on our world? How will this impact relationships? How can anyone help someone in a relationship that is suffering from Narcissism?  All of the psychologists on the board who voted to eliminate this disorder from the manual must spend a lot of time updating their Facebook statuses.

A Fate That Narcissists Will Hate: Being Ignored

A messianic center on Coney Island Avenue threatens to bring missionaries to the heart of Brooklyn
By Yossi Krausz
I’m standing in a bookstore on Coney Island Avenue in Brooklyn, watching through the window as a building is being renovated across the street. Alongside me is one of the store’s employees. “I haven’t seen any activity there,” he nonchalantly says. Just as he’s saying that, a door in the building opens. There’s a man standing there, looking out into the sunlight. I quickly say my adieus to the book store employee and head across the street. The man eyes me suspiciously. He seems to be taken aback by my hat and jacket. I ease into small talk, trying to pretend that I have no special interest in the building. I ask him if any of the buildings in the area are up for sale. Not that he knows of. “You a contractor?” I can see behind him into an unfinished hallway, wooden beams exposed. He nods. “You guys almost done?” “Nah,” he says, laughing. “This will probably take us another year.” “What exactly is this building going to be?” I say, trying to sound casually interested. “Well…” he starts. Then a suspicious look passes across his face. “My father would know how to explain that. He’ll be back in a couple of days.”
I thank him and walk off. A year from opening? I say to myself. Then there’s still time to do something, if there is anything to do. I look back. The man is still staring at me, suspicion written on his face.

The rabbi that wasn’t
In 1894, Leopold Cohn, an immigrant from Hungary, going by the title of“rabbi,” began an organization in Brownsville, New York, dedicated to helping his fellow Jews find spiritual awakening and bring them close to religion. The Brownsville Mission to the Jews was dedicated to converting Jews to Christianity. There is some dispute about whether his real name was Leopold Cohn and whether he in fact ever trained as a rabbi. Already in 1913, a lawsuit was filed claiming that Leopold Cohn’s real name was Itsak Leib Joszovics, and he really was a saloonkeeper who had been arrested and sentenced for fraud in Hungary in 1891. They claimed that he had escaped from Hungary, leaving behind his wife and children, to avoid prison.
Whatever his real name was, Cohn managed to create a new life for himself in America as a missionary to the Jews. After his own conversion to Christianity, he founded the Brownsville Mission to the Jews, which later moved to Williamsburg and became the Williamsburg Mission to the Jews. In later years, it changed its name to the American Board of Missions to the Jews, and in 1988, changed its name to Chosen People Ministries (CPM). CPM is the second-largest organization in the world dedicated to Christians proselytizing to Jews, the largest being Jews for J which is also an offshoot of the original CPM that was founded. It was founded by a former employee of CPM.
They claim success in their mission to cause Jews to stray to Christianity, by falsely claiming that doing so is compatible with being Jewish. They have a massive presence in Israel, entrapping legions of Jews with little knowledge of their true heritage. And now, with the new multimillion dollar Charles L. Feinberg Messianic Center going up in the middle of Flatbush, CPM has announced that it is targeting what would be the biggest prize in evangelism to Jews: the Orthodox Jews of Brooklyn.
Anatomy of a Trojan horse
Messianic Jews often disguise their appearance to look like Orthodox Jews. A friend told me about a visit he made to Boulder, Colorado, to pick up some transcripts from the time he spent in college there. On campus he saw two men with black hats, black suits, and tzitzis dangling from under their jackets, so he went over to give them shalom aleichem. They gave him a funny look when he greeted them, and as the conversation progressed, he realized they were actually Christians dressed up as Orthodox Jews, at which point he turned on his heels and left.
Who exactly are these messianic “Jews,” anyway?
The messianic movement was founded in the 1960s by evangelistic Christians, some of whom were Jewish. Messianic congregations differ in their practices, but the general idea is that they use the trappings and even the ideas of a Jewish synagogue, while promoting Christian theology.
Several anti-missionary activists whom I’ve spoken with explained that the original idea of messianic “Judaism” was very clearly just a Trojan horse for regular Christianity. The founders of the movement had discovered a way to make Jews feel comfortable joining a church. They called the church a synagogue, put a Torah scroll at the front wall, served latkes on Chanukah, and read the Megillah on Purim. The Jewish rituals the messianics performed were just the honey in the bear trap. Julius Ciss, executive director of Jews for Judaism in Canada, explains:
“Based on my involvement in the fledgling messianic movement from 1975 to 1980, I personally witnessed comments from leaders within the movement that clearly acknowledged that they knew that ‘messianic Judaism’ was a portal to the church, a mission where the Jewish defenses against Christianity were down. I also witnessed many who were naive enough to believe that the evangelical ministers who deceptively portrayed themselves as rabbis were actually that.”
The present-day messianics are different, according to the experts. After three generations of messianic Judaism, the theology of the movement has become legitimate in the eyes of a lot of its adherents, many of whom believe that while plain Christianity is fine for Gentiles, Jews must keep the mitzvos (in garbled form, of course) along with accepting Christian beliefs.
Penina Taylor, an author, motivational speaker, and director of a seminary in Israel, formerly had a leadership role in a messianic group. She describes the evolution of messianic Judaism:
“Originally, the purpose of the Jewish Christian (later, Hebrew Christian) Church movement was to repackage Christianity in Jewish clothing, to convince Jews that it was a “Jewish thing” to believe in [J]. The leaders were truly practicing deception. Nowadays, this may still be the case among many messianic leaders.
However, I have found that most of the followers or messianic
Jews themselves, rather than intending to be deceptive, are earnestly attempting to synthesize their Christian beliefs with their
Jewish identity. Many of these people, especially those who are second-generation messianics, may not even realize that they are not practicing a true form of Judaism.”

This false belief makes messianics a particularly dangerous group. Gavriel Sanders is a former minister and missionary who became a ger tzedek and is now a popular speaker on Jewish topics as well as an expert on missionaries. As he puts it, “Messianic Jews are not clever deceivers; they are sincere believers. The power of that sincerity makes their fellowship appear very attractive.”

Another Kind of Chosen People
A Jewish teenager is getting off a bus at the Tel Aviv Central Bus Station. Across the street he sees activity in front of a three-story building, and he walks over to see what’s going on.
A young man standing outside invites the teen in. “Want some coffee? We’ve got a little café in here.”
Inside the café, the teen sees youths like himself spread out around a large room, drinking, eating, and obviously enjoying themselves. There are a large number of soldiers relaxing, their boots stuck out in front of them. The youthful hosts and hostesses are dispensing fun in large portions.
Oh, and also some books. Books about you-know-who. Chosen People has centers across the United States, and they’ve
also branched out internationally, with programs in many countries, including Germany, Argentina, and, of course, Eretz Yisrael, where it is very successful at targeting non-religious Jews. Its world headquarters is in Manhattan, on Fifth Avenue, but it has made forays into Brooklyn, mostly targeting Russian Jews. It has a small messianic center on East 18th Street in Flatbush aimed at Russians, as well as a partnership with the Russian Community Life Center, a Russian messianic congregation in Brighton Beach. And on June 30, 2010, these messianics bought the building that once housed Yablokoff Kingsway Memorial Chapel, at 1974 Coney Island Avenue, between Avenue P and King’s Highway, with the stated intention of increasing their activities in Brooklyn and seeking out Orthodox Jews.
Mitch Glaser is a native Manhattanite who grew up in a Jewish household. But in 1970, he converted to Christianity and began working as a missionary. For some time he worked for Jews for J, but he ended up at CPM, where he eventually rose to become president of the organization.
In a promotional video on CPM’s website, Glaser takes a visitor on a tour of the new center, showing what construction has been carried out so far and what is yet to come. In the video, as he and a contractor wander through the construction site, he describes what will be going on inside the center. There will be two messianic congregations housed in a main sanctuary, a Russian congregation and an English-speaking one. Glaser also points out some rooms that will be used to house students and traveling missionaries.

They are installing an industrial kitchen and setting up a soup kitchen to lure poor Jews inside. “I wish it could be bigger,” Glaser tells the contractor, “but this is Brooklyn.” He laughs. “What I’m excited about is that there are thousands of Russian Jewish people in this area, many of whom are elderly, many of whom are poor. They came here and couldn’t get jobs. They don’t know the Lord, and they need help. If we can put in a soup kitchen here and help some of these people, it would be wonderful. In Tel Aviv we’ve been doing that across from the Central Bus Station, and it’s just been a wonderful ministry.”
The facility will also become the new home for the Charles L. Feinberg Center seminary program—a partnership CPM has with the Talbot School of Theology of Biola University, offering the first fully accredited master of divinity degree in messianic Jewish studies in the United States.
In short, a full-blown, fully functioning messianic menace will soon be operative in the heart of Jewish Brooklyn.
And what is perhaps most chilling is the video’s use of shots of obviously Orthodox Jews walking down Coney Island Avenue. “My hope and my prayer is,” intones Glaser, “that some of the Orthodox young people will come in, eat some kosher cookies, hear about the Lord, drink some coffee, meet with our staff.” The video moves to a shot of a yeshiva bochur strolling down the sidewalk toward the camera. Apparently, he is included in Mr. Glaser’s plans for cookie eating and coffee drinking.

Do they really think so?
Thankfully, messianics have had a low rate of success among Orthodox Jews. Akiva Powers, American director of the Magen League Anti-Missionary organization, says that “in my 30 years of counter-missionary work, I have yet to run into any truly Orthodox Jew [involved in messianic Judaism]. Most of them will try to claim, as Mitch Glaser does, Orthodoxy or an Orthodox connection, but they themselves don’t have it. Grandparents, great-grandparents, maybe even parents for a few, but they themselves—no.”

Ruth Guggenheim, of Jews for Judaism in Baltimore, says she has met very few frum people who joined. “We have had a few Orthodox Jews who have been attracted to these groups due to their ability to appear non-judgmental. These Orthodox people are going through a crisis in their lives and feel that Yiddishkeit or the community has deserted them. Two that I know were [normally] functioning individuals and were raised frum, but felt very abandoned in their time of need.” Nevertheless, she agrees that the numbers are miniscule.

So why is Chosen People Ministries moving into an Orthodox Jewish neighborhood?
Mitch Glaser, in a fund-raising letter, discusses his (apparently) religious grandparents, and their reaction to his becoming Christian at 19. “Word came back to me from my mom that my grandparents were very upset and didn’t want to see me.” He describes visiting his grandparents’ home in Florida with his new “messianic Jewish wife”: “We approached their apartment, and my grandfather opened his screen door and stared at me without blinking, after not having seen me for more than five years. He glanced at my wife and turned his head to look at my grandmother, who I saw sitting stone-faced on the couch. My grandfather then turned around, looked at me one more time, and slammed the door in my face.

“To this day, it was the most difficult experience I have ever had as a believer.”

He follows this sordid little tale by describing how the messianic center will soon be opening to attempt to reach religious Jews like his grandparents.
“Someone asked me the other day why we were moving into the heart of an Orthodox Jewish neighborhood. The answer is this: If we hope to reach religious Jewish people for [J], then we must minister in their neighborhood.”

The anti-missionary professionals that I contacted were divided as to whether the messianics really believe they can convert Orthodox Jews.
Akiva Powers believes there are two reasons they are moving to Flatbush. “One: It is a great fund-raising tool to say to your supporters, ‘We aren’t afraid to go into the area where few have gone before.’ Two: Their real target is the Russian community. Look at the people that they spotlight on the website; most of those that are working or are planning on working in the area are themselves Russian. Who are the most vulnerable and who might be most affected by this group? The chassidim? No, the Russians. Here they know that they will be successful.”
Some expressed the idea that Orthodox Jews are a bigger prize for the messianics than any other type of convert. Rabbi Bentzion Kravitz, founder of Jews for Judaism and director of the Los Angeles branch, says that while it is foremost a fund-raising gimmick, “also, in their distorted minds and attempt to validate their position, one Jew is worth a thousand Gentiles, and one Orthodox Jew is worth a thousand secular Jews.”
Gavriel Sanders says: “Orthodox Jews are the final frontier in Jewish evangelism. They do believe they will be successful, and they are investing hundreds of millions yearly to reach the Jewish world. Locally, it will start with kids at risk on Coney Island Avenue on Friday nights. These disaffected Jewish youths will be met with listening ears, sympathetic dialogue, a place to hang out, some good cholent, and an introduction to ‘real biblical Judaism’ through belief in [J]. CPM will also influence Russian Jews through English-as-a-second-language classes offered for free and High Holiday services offered for free.”
Rabbi Moshe Shulman, the New York–based executive director of the anti-missionary organization, Judaism’s Answer, sees this center as a true danger for Orthodox Jews. “They’ve been developing texts and books using rabbinic writings [Mishna and Gemara] in order to reach out to Orthodox Jews. There are some very dangerous texts that they’ve developed. It is clear that so far they don’t have someone who can really guide them in bringing in Orthodox Jews. But they’re working on it, and they hope that this center can help them.”

Rabbi Shulman told me he’s seen the messianic movement over the past 15 years taking increasingly stronger steps to make in roads among Orthodox Jews, and although they have not been successful until now, he says that we need to counter them before they begin having success.

What is there to do?
A small amount of time still remains until the center opens. Whether it is a year, as the contractor told me, or only until the fall, as others I spoke to have heard, the construction is definitely moving forward.
This group does not have a money problem. They receive funding from donors, and they also get funds from some of the large evangelical groups, such as the Southern Baptists and the Assemblies of G-d. Their audited income for 2009 was $12,296,725; of that, $6,530,576 was for programming expenses. They paid for the building on Coney Island Avenue in full, without taking a mortgage. Its price was $2,050,000.

I asked the anti-missionaries whether the construction was going slow for money reasons, and they all thought that is out of the question. Julius Ciss said care with the money may be one reason for treading cautiously. “They are meticulous stewards of their donor dollars.” Moshe Verschleisser, an anti-missionary activist from Flatbush, told me that their delays are really only the average delays for putting such a structure up in New York City. “They need permits to have a soup kitchen, to make living space for missionaries.” He says that the Jewish community has no option to stop the building on legal grounds concerning the sale of the building. “The sale was entirely legal.” If anything, codes, permits, and regulations could be used against the building itself, which may be a reason for CPM to be meticulous in following the law in their construction.

So if the center will inevitably open, what should the Jewish community do about it? Does anything need to be done? The first thing mentioned was education. Akiva Powers expresses it like this: “In my opinion, the community should start now with a counter-missionary campaign. Educational programs should be presented in every synagogue and shteibel. People need to become more aware of who these people are, what they are saying, and how to answer them. We especially need to train Russian speakers in this area, since the Russians are the most vulnerable.” Ruth Guggenheim points out that people need to be informed about where to turn when there is a crisis involving a family member or friend who becomes involved in these missionary groups.

Several people told me about the interventions that ordinary people can make. Moshe Verschleisser says that because missionaries target susceptible members of the community—kids at risk, the poor, the uneducated—the more the Jewish community reaches out to the vulnerable, the less impact the messianics will have.
Gavriel Sanders makes this point as well. “We typically outsource kiruv to kiruv professionals and send them out to reach the unaffiliated Jews. That will ultimately fail. There aren’t enough professionals to keep up with the rapid rate of assimilation and intermarriage. Missionary groups like CPM train laypeople to reach others and thereby multiply their efforts further and faster.” He also says that even giving someone an ArtScroll English Tanach can help. The messianics twist pesukim around to “prove” their points, and a true translation can defeat those talking points. (Gavriel told me, “I don’t mean this for commercial reasons,” when he recommended the Artscroll Tanach, and we both laughed. He is the public relations director for Artscroll.) At the same time, Rabbi Craig Miller, co-director of the Spiritual Deception Prevention Project of the Jewish Community Relations Council of New York, emphasizes that individual responses should be made only in a constructive manner. “Rash acts by the Brooklyn community would only strengthen the missionaries.” Everyone agrees that a professional response would be valuable, but there is a lack of funding, and there is no full-time antimissionary group in New York. Even national organizations like Jews for Judaism have a hard time raising just a fraction of the huge amount of money the missionaries can leverage. “We all put in whatever time we have left after making a living,” Rabbi Shulman says.

Even the JCRC’s project, which gets Jewish Federation funding, is not given enough support to be able to focus on all the threats, several people told me.
Akiva Powers comments, “If possible, if someone would support the establishment of a counter-missionary/outreach center next door to them, or across the street from them, it would be a great kiddush Hashem.”

How will this center affect the Jewish community of Brooklyn? No one can say for sure. But we may find out within the year.
Special thanks to Gavriel Sanders for his help with this article. from AMI Magazine June 22, 2011

We Never Talk Anymore
As you got up this morning, I watched you and hoped you would talk to me, even if it was just a few words, asking my opinion or thanking me for something good that happened in your life yesterday – but I noticed you were to busy trying to find the right outfit to put on to wear to work. I waited again. When you ran around the house getting ready I knew there would be a few minutes for you to stop and say hello, but you were too busy. At one point you had to wait fifteen minutes with nothing to do except sit in a chair. Then I saw you spring to your feet. I thought you wanted to talk to me but you ran to the phone and called a friend to get the latest gossip. I watched as you went to work and I waited patiently all day long. With all your activities I guess you were too busy to say anything to me. I noticed that before lunch you looked around, maybe you felt embarrassed to talk to me, that is why you didn’t bow your head. You glanced three or four tables over and you noticed some of your friends talking to me briefly before they ate, but you didn’t. That’s okay. There is still more time left, and I have hope that you will talk to me yet you went home and it seems as if you had lots of things to do. After a few of them were done you turned on the TV, don’t know if you like TV or not, just about anything goes there & you spent a lot of time each day in front of it, not thinking about anything – just enjoying the show. I waited patiently gain as you watched the TV and ate your meal but again you didn’t talk to me. Bedtime I guess you felt too tired. After you said goodnight to your family you plopped into bed and fell asleep in no time. That’s okay because you may not realize that I am always there for you. I’ve got patience more than you will ever know. I even want to teach you how to be patient with others as well. I love you so much that I wait everyday for a nod, prayer or thought or a thankful part of your heart. It is hard to have a one-sided conversation. Well you are getting up again and once again I will wait with nothing but love for you hoping that today you will give me some time.

Your friend,
GOD

by Rabbi Shmuley Boteach

Surrounded by Christians Who Love Israel

The Christians United for Israel dinner in Washington, DC was an experience I won’t quickly forget. Until you sit in a room with five thousand Christian lovers of Israel and absorb their enthusiasm for the Jewish state and the Jewish people you would be hard pressed to think it possible. But there I was, surrounded by Christians from all over the nation waving Israeli and American flags, pledging eternal love and support to the most vilified country on earth. The speeches came fast and furious. The statements bold and unapologetic. Israel must never trade land for peace. Every attempt to do so has led to terror bases for Hamas and Hezbollah. Israel is one of the freest and most democratic nations on earth. President Obama better stop pressuring Israel or pay for it at the polls. Iran is an existential threat to both Israel and the United States. Those who treat the Jews poorly are abandoned by G-d, as history has shown time and again. The American University campus has become a hub of anti-Israel hatred. We’re deploying our legions to fight it.

Sheesh. I could scarcely sit down. Nearly every line deserved an ovation.

The crowd was anything but monolithic. The head of CUFI’s campus operations is a young African-American student who pledged his life to fighting for Israel. Shades of all colors were to be found in the audience with a smattering of yarmulkes dotting the landscape as well. Glenn Beck, the keynote speaker, is a Mormon even though the vast majority of participants were evangelical Christians who are often suspicious of Mormonism. An orthodox Rabbi gave the opening benediction. My friend Dennis Prager addressed the crowd the night before the banquet, and my friend Michael Oren, Israel’s Ambassador to the United States, gave a moving historical account of Christians over the last century who were moved to support Israel based on Biblical teaching.

Israeli music filled the room, sung by Christians from Texas whom I could swear sounded indistinguishable from musical acts from Tel Aviv. “I am an Israeli,” declared CUFI founder Pastor John Hagee, swearing to forever defend Israel against attack at the risk of life and limb. “It’s not only the support we offer Israel,” said Beck, “that matters. The reason for doing so is also important. We can’t do this because we think it will bring final salvation or for any other reason. Rather, it’s about love. Why did Ruth declare to Naomi, “Where you go I’ll go. You’re G-d is my G-d. Where you die I’ll die, and there I’ll be buried. Because she loved her. This has to be about love.” His words directly addressed the discomfort some Jews feel with Christian support for Israel as being based on end-of-days prophecy and a necessary precursor for the return of Christ.

I sat there thinking, if only the Jewish community could offer such unequivocal support for Israel…

Evangelical Christians have emerged as Israel’s most stalwart backers. They have been at the forefront of calling out President Obama for his pressure on Israel to make concessions while requiring little if anything of the Palestinians. While many Jews made peace with President Obama’s reference to Israel’s 1967 borders, evangelicals have refused to give an inch.

In December of this year I will G-d willing be publishing my book, Kosher Jesus, through Gefen Publishers in Israel. It has been a project of more than six years research and writing. The book seeks to offer to Jews and Christians the real story of Jesus, a wholly observant, Pharisaic Rabbi who fought Roman paganism and oppression and was killed for it. While many Christians will be confused by its assertion that Jesus never claimed divinity and not only did not abrogate the Torah but observed every letter of the Law, they will find comfort in my tracing most of Jesus’ principal teachings back to Jewish sources, this before he was stripped of his Jewishness by later writers who sought to portray him as an enemy of his people. This is especially true of Jesus’ most famous oration, the Sermon on the Mount, which is a reformulation of the Torah he studied and to which he was committed. A small sampling:

Jesus: (Matt 5:5) Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

Hebrew Bible: (Psalms 37) The meek shall inherit the earth, and delight themselves in the abundance of peace.

Jesus: (Matt 5:8) Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see G-d.

Hebrew Bible: (Psalms 24) Who shall ascend the mount of the Lord – the pure-hearted.

Jesus: (Matt 5:39) But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.

Hebrew Bible: (Lamentations 3:30) Let him offer his cheek to him who smites him….

Jesus: (Matt 6:33) But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things shall be yours as well.

Hebrew Bible: (Psalms 37:4) Delight yourself in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.

Jesus: (Matt 7:7) Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you.

Hebrew Bible: (Jer 29:13) When you search for me, you will find me; if you seek me with all your heart.

Jesus: (Matt 7:23) Then I will declare to them, “I never knew you; go away from me, you evildoers.”

Hebrew Bible: (Psalms 6:9) Depart from me, all you workers of evil…

But the book is also for Jews who remain deeply uncomfortable with Jesus because of the Church’s long history of anti-Semitism, the deification of Jesus, and the Jewish rejection of any Messiah who has not fulfilled the Messianic prophecies. We Jews will forever reject the divinity of any man, the single most emphatic prohibition of our Bible. And we can never accept the Messiahship of any personality, however noble or well-intended, who died without ushering in the age of physical redemption. But as Christians and Jews now come together to love and support the majestic and humane Jewish state, it’s time that Christians rediscover the deep Jewishness and religious Jewish commitment of Jesus, while Jews reexamine a lost son who was murdered by a brutal Roman state who sought to impose Roman culture and rule upon a tiny yet stubborn nation who will never be severed from their eternal covenant with the G-d of Israel.

Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, founder of This World: The Values Network, was the London Times Preacher of the Year at the Millennium and is winner of the American Jewish Press Association’s Highest Award for Excellence in Commentary. The best-selling author of 25 books, Newsweek calls him ‘the most famous Rabbi in America.’ Follow him Twitter @RabbiShmuley.

A palindrome reads the same backwards as forward. This video reads the exact opposite backwards as forward. Not only does it read the opposite, the meaning is the exact opposite..

This is only a 1 minute, 44 second video and it is brilliant. Make sure you read as well as listen…forward and backward.

This video was submitted in a contest by a 20-year old. The contest was titled “u @ 50″ by AARP. This video won second place. When they showed it, everyone in the room was awe-struck and broke into spontaneous applause. So simple and yet so brilliant.

Take a minute and watch it.

Let’s make the world great. RAJEon!

By ALAN M. DERSHOWITZ

‘This case [is] about seeking justice for Caylee . . .” So argued the prosecutor in the Casey Anthony murder case. He was wrong, and the jury understood that.

A criminal trial is never about seeking justice for the victim. If it were, there could be only one verdict: guilty. That’s because only one person is on trial in a criminal case, and if that one person is acquitted, then by definition there can be no justice for the victim in that trial.

A criminal trial is neither a whodunit nor a multiple choice test. It is not even a criminal investigation to determine who among various possible suspects might be responsible for a terrible tragedy. In a murder trial, the state, with all of its power, accuses an individual of being the perpetrator of a dastardly act against a victim. The state must prove that accusation by admissible evidence and beyond a reasonable doubt.

Even if it is “likely” or “probable” that a defendant committed the murder, he must be acquitted, because neither likely nor probable satisfies the daunting standard of proof beyond a reasonable doubt. Accordingly, a legally proper result—acquittal in such a case—may not be the same as a morally just result. In such a case, justice has not been done to the victim, but the law has prevailed.

For thousands of years, Western society has insisted that it is better for 10 guilty defendants to go free than for one innocent defendant to be wrongly convicted. This daunting standard finds its roots in the biblical story of Abraham’s argument with God about the sinners of Sodom.

Abraham admonishes God for planning to sweep away the innocent along with the guilty and asks Him whether it would be right to condemn the sinners of Sodom if there were 10 or more righteous people among them. God agrees and reassures Abraham that he would spare the city if there were 10 righteous. From this compelling account, the legal standard has emerged.

That is why a criminal trial is not a search for truth. Scientists search for truth. Philosophers search for morality. A criminal trial searches for only one result: proof beyond a reasonable doubt.

A civil trial, on the other hand, seeks justice for the victim. In such a case, the victim sues the alleged perpetrator and need only prove liability by a preponderance of the evidence. In other words, if it is more likely than not that a defendant was the killer, he is found liable, though he cannot be found guilty on that lesser standard.

That is why it was perfectly rational, though difficult for many to understand, for a civil jury to have found O.J. Simpson liable to his alleged victim, after a criminal jury had found him not guilty of his murder. It is certainly possible that if the estate of Caylee Anthony were to sue Casey Anthony civilly, a Florida jury might find liability.

Casey Anthony was not found innocent of her daughter’s murder, as many commentators seem to believe. She was found “not guilty.” And therein lies much of the misunderstanding about the Anthony verdict.

This misunderstanding is exacerbated by the pervasiveness of TV shows about criminal cases. On television and in the movies, crimes are always solved. Nothing is left uncertain. By the end, the viewer knows whodunit. In real life, on the other hand, many murders remain unsolved, and even some that are “solved” to the satisfaction of the police and prosecutors lack sufficient evidence to result in a conviction. The Scottish verdict “not proven” reflects this reality more accurately than its American counterpart, “not guilty.”

Because many American murder cases, such as the Casey Anthony trial, are shown on television, they sometimes appear to the public as if they were reality television shows. There is great disappointment, therefore, when the result is a verdict of not guilty. On the old Perry Mason show, the fictional defense lawyer would not only get his client acquitted but he would prove who actually committed the murder. Not so in real life.

The verdict in the Casey Anthony case reflected the lack of forensic evidence and heavy reliance on circumstantial inferences. There was no evidence of a cause of death, the time of death, or the circumstances surrounding the actual death of this young girl. There was sufficient circumstantial evidence from which the jury could have inferred homicide. But a reasonable jury could also have rejected that conclusion, as this jury apparently did. There are hundreds of defendants now in prison, some even on death row, based on less persuasive evidence than was presented in this case.

Juries are not computers. They are composed of human beings who evaluate evidence differently. The prosecutors in this case did the best they could with the evidence they had, though I believe they made a serious mistake in charging Casey Anthony with capital murder and introducing questionable evidence, such as that relating to the “smell of death” inside the trunk of Casey Anthony’s car.

The defense also made mistakes, particularly by accusing Ms. Anthony’s father of sexually abusing her. Although they leveled this unfounded accusation in an effort to explain why Casey had lied, it sounded like the kind of abuse excuse offered to justify a crime of violence. But a criminal trial is not about who is the better lawyer. It is about the evidence, and the evidence in this case left a reasonable doubt in the mind of all of the jurors. The system worked.

Mr. Dershowitz is a law professor at Harvard. He served as an attorney in several high-profile court cases, and is a sought-after commentator on the Arab–Israeli conflict. He is the author of some 25 books. His latest book is “Trials of Zion” (Grand Central Publishing, 2010) and the Case for Israel. 

This article appeared in the Wall Street Journal.

What are your thoughts. Are American families doomed? Do we as the divorce generation have the ability to change this trend and undo the wrongs of the past?

The Divorce Generation WSJ THE SATURDAY ESSAY JULY 9, 2011

Having survived their own family splits, Generation X parents are determined to keep their marriages together. It doesn’t always work.
By SUSAN GREGORY THOMAS

Gen-X’s quest for perfect nests drove us to take out more home equity loans and to spend more on remodeling, per capita, than any generation before it, according to Harvard’s Joint Center for Housing Studies.

Every generation has its life-defining moments. If you want to find out what it was for a member of the Greatest Generation, you ask: “Where were you on D-Day?” For baby boomers, the questions are: “Where were you when Kennedy was shot?” or “What were you doing when Nixon resigned?”

Every generation has its defining moment. For Generation X, it could be: “When did your parents get divorced?” Susan Gregory Thomas, author of the memoir “In Spite of Everything,” explains what she sees as its long-term effects on marriage and parenting.

For much of my generation—Generation X, born between 1965 and 1980—there is only one question: “When did your parents get divorced?” Our lives have been framed by the answer. Ask us. We remember everything.

When my dad left in the spring of 1981 and moved five states away with his executive assistant and her four kids, the world as I had known it came to an end. In my 12-year-old eyes, my mother, formerly a regal, erudite figure, was transformed into a phantom in a sweaty nightgown and matted hair, howling on the floor of our gray-carpeted playroom. My brother, a sweet, goofy boy, grew into a sad, glowering giant, barricaded in his room with dark graphic novels and computer games.

I spent the rest of middle and high school getting into trouble in suburban Philadelphia: chain-smoking, doing drugs, getting kicked out of schools, spending a good part of my senior year in a psychiatric ward. Whenever I saw my father, which was rarely, he grew more and more to embody Darth Vader: a brutal machine encasing raw human guts.

Growing up, my brother and I were often left to our own devices, members of the giant flock of migrant latchkey kids in the 1970s and ’80s. Our suburb was littered with sad-eyed, bruised nomads, who wandered back and forth between used-record shops to the sheds behind the train station where they got high and then trudged off, back and forth from their mothers’ houses during the week to their fathers’ apartments every other weekend.

The divorced parents of a boy I knew in high school installed him in his own apartment because neither of them wanted him at home. Naturally, we all descended on his place after school—sometimes during school—to drink and do drugs. He was always wasted, no matter what time we arrived. A few years ago, a friend told me that she had learned that he had drunk himself to death by age 30.

“Whatever happens, we’re never going to get divorced.” Over the course of 16 years, I said that often to my husband, especially after our children were born. Apparently, much of my generation feels at least roughly the same way: Divorce rates, which peaked around 1980, are now at their lowest level since 1970. In fact, the often-cited statistic that half of all marriages end in divorce was true only in the 1970s—in other words, our parents’ marriages.

Not ours. According to U.S. Census data released this May, 77% of couples who married since 1990 have reached their 10-year anniversaries. We’re also marrying later in life, if at all. The average marrying age in 1950 was 23 for men and 20 for women; in 2009, it was 28 for men and 26 for women.

Before we get married, we like to know what our daily relationship with a partner will be like. Are we good roommates? A 2007 study published by the National Bureau of Economic Research showed that, among those entering first marriages in the early 2000s, nearly 60% had previously cohabited with their future spouses. According to the U.S. government’s 2002 National Survey of Fertility Growth, 34% of couples who move in together have announced publicly that marriage is in the future; 36% felt “almost certain” that they’d get hitched, while 46% said there was “a pretty good chance” or “a 50-50 chance.”

I believed that I had married my best friend as fervently as I believed that I’d never get divorced. No marital scenario, I told myself, could become so bleak or hopeless as to compel me to embed my children in the torture of a split family. And I wasn’t the only one with strong personal reasons to make this commitment. According to a 2004 marketing study about generational differences, my age cohort “went through its all-important, formative years as one of the least parented, least nurtured generations in U.S. history.” Census data show that almost half of us come from split families; 40% were latch-key kids.

People my parents’ age say things like: “Of course you’d feel devastated by divorce, honey—it was a horrible, disorienting time for you as a child! Of course you wouldn’t want it for yourself and your family, but sometimes it’s better for everyone that parents part ways; everyone is happier.”

Such sentiments bring to mind a set of statistics in “Generations” by William Strauss and Neil Howe that has stuck with me: In 1962, half of all adult women believed that parents in bad marriages should stay together for the children’s sake; by 1980, only one in five felt that way. “Four-fifths of [those] divorced adults profess to being happier afterward,” the authors write, “but a majority of their children feel otherwise.”

Many Generation X parents are all too familiar with the brutal court fights of their parents, and today, ‘friendly divorces’ are increasingly common. Here, Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas in 1989′s ‘The War of the Roses.’

But a majority of their children feel otherwise. There is something intolerable about that clause. I can’t help feeling that every divorce, in its way, is a re-enactment of “Medea”: the wailing, murderously bereft mother; the cold father protecting his pristine, new family; the children: dead.

When I had my first child at 32, I went into therapy for a while to sort through, among other things, just why the world—as open and wonderful as it had become with my child’s presence—had also become more treacherous than I ever could have imagined. It wasn’t until my daughter was a few months old that it dawned on me that when the pediatricians and child-care books referred to “separation anxiety,” they were referring to the baby’s psyche, not to mine.

The thought of placing her in someone else’s care sent waves of pure, white fear whipping up my spine. It occurred to me that perhaps my own origins had something to do with what a freak show I was. After hearing about my background for some time, my distinguished therapist made an announcement: “You,” she said, “are a war orphan.”

Orphans as parents—that’s not a bad way to understand Generation X parents. Having grown up without stable homes, we pour everything that we have into giving our children just that, no matter how many sacrifices it involves. Indeed, Gen-X’s quest for perfect nests drove us to take out more home equity loans and to spend more on remodeling, per capita, than any generation before it, according to Harvard’s Joint Center for Housing Studies.

Marketing surveys reveal that Generation X mothers don’t seek parenting advice from their own moms. Why would we take counsel from the very people who, in our view, flubbed it all up? Instead, says the research, we depend on the people who actually raised us, albeit wolf-pack style: our friends.

To allow our own marriages to end in divorce is to live out our worst childhood fears. More horrifying, it is to inflict the unthinkable on what we most love and want to protect: our children. It is like slashing open our own wounds and turning the knife on our babies. To consider it is unbearable.

My husband and I were as obvious as points on a graph in a Generation X marriage study. We were together for nearly eight years before we got married, and even though statistics show that divorce rates are 48% higher for those who have lived together previously, we paid no heed.

We also paid no heed to his Catholic parents, who comprised one of the rare reassuringly unified couples I’d ever met, when they warned us that we should wait until we were married to live together. As they put it, being pals and roommates is different from being husband and wife. How bizarrely old-fashioned and sexist! We didn’t need anything so naïve or retro as “marriage.” Please. We were best friends.

Sociologists, anthropologists and other cultural observers tell us that members of Generation X are more emotionally invested in our spouses than previous generations were. We are best friends; our marriages are genuine partnerships. Many studies have found that Generation X family men help around the house a good deal more than their forefathers. We depend on each other and work together.

Adultery is far more devastating for us than it was for our parents or grandparents. A 2003 study by the late psychologist Shirley Glass found that the mores of sexual infidelity are undergoing a profound change. The traditional standard for men—love is love and sex is sex—is dying out. Increasingly, men and women develop serious emotional attachments with their would-be lovers long before they commit adultery. As a result, she found, infidelity today is much more likely to lead to divorce.

Call us helicopter parents, call us neurotically attached, but those of us who survived the wreckage of split families were determined never to inflict such wounds on our children. We knew better. We were doing everything differently, and the fundamental premise was simple: “Kids come first” meant that we would not divorce.

But marriages do dissolve, even among those determined never to let it happen. After nine years, my husband and I had become wretched, passive-aggressive roommates. I had given up trying to do anything in the kitchen and had not washed a dish in a year. My husband had not been able to “find time” to read the book I had written. We rarely spoke, except about logistics. We hadn’t slept in the same room for at least two years, a side effect of the nighttime musical bed routine that parents of so many young children play in semiconsciousness for years on end.

Yet I never considered divorce. It never even entered my mind. I was grateful that my babies had a perfect father, for our family meals, for the stability of our home, for neighborhood play dates.

But then, one evening, I found myself where I vowed I’d never be: miserable, in tears, telling my husband that we were like siblings who couldn’t stand each other rather than a couple, and listening as my husband said he felt as though we had never really been a couple and regretted that we hadn’t split up a decade earlier. “I’m done,” he said. It was as if a cosmic force had been unleashed; the awful finality of it roared in like an enormous black cloud blotting out the sky, over every inch of the world. It was done.

That was four years ago. Even now, I still wonder every day if there was something that I—we—could have done differently. Like many of my cohort, the circumstances of my upbringing led me to believe that I had made exactly the right choices by doing everything differently from my parents.

I had married the kindest, most stable person I’d ever known to ensure that our children would never know anything of the void of my own childhood. I nursed, loved, read to and lolled about with my babies—restructured and re-imagined my career—so that they would be secure, happy, attended to. My husband and I made the happiest, most comfy nest possible. We worked as a team; we loved our kids; we did everything right, better than right. And yet divorce came. In spite of everything.

I don’t know what makes a good marriage. I am inclined to think that Mark Twain was right when he wrote in an 1894 journal: “No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.” But I did know something about divorce, and I wanted—and my former husband wanted—to do it as “well” as possible.

Many of us do. The phrase “friendly divorce” may strike some as an oxymoron, but it is increasingly a trend and a real possibility. Relatively inexpensive and nonadversarial divorce mediation—rather than pricey, contentious litigation—is now more common than ever. Many of us are all too familiar with the brutal court fights of our parents, and we have no intention of putting our kids through it, too. According to a recent University of Virginia study, couples who decide to mediate their divorce are more likely than those who go to court to talk regularly about the children’s needs and problems, to participate in school and special events, daily activities, holidays and vacations.

We may not make it in marriage, but we still want to make it as parents. In the ’70s, only nine states permitted joint custody. Today, every state has adopted it. It was once typical for dads to recede from family life, or to drop out altogether, in the wake of a divorce. But dads are critical in helping kids to develop self-esteem and constructive habits of behavior. A 2009 study published in the journal Child Development found, for example, that teenagers with involved fathers are less likely to engage in risky sexual activities.

Joint custody also reduces family strife. According to a 2001 study, couples with such arrangements report less conflict with their former spouses than sole-custody parents—an important finding, since judges have worried, historically, that joint custody exposes children to ongoing parental fighting. Some divorced couples have even decided to continue living together in different parts of the home—or to “swap out” each week—in order to maintain some measure of stability for their kids.

I have yet to meet the divorced mother or father who feels like a good parent, who professes to being happier with how their children are now being raised. Many of us have ended up inflicting pain on our children, which we did everything to avoid.

But we have not had our parents’ divorces either. We can only hope that in this, we have done it differently in the right way.
—Adapted from “In Spite of Everything: A Memoir” by Susan Gregory Thomas, to be published by Random House next week. Copyright © by Susan Gregory Thomas.
The original article can be found here ==> http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702303544604576430341393583056.html

This is an old story I posted many years ago. Its just as powerful now as when I first read it. Enjoy!

My Father’s Eyes

This teenager lived alone with his father, and the two of them had a very Special relationship. Even though the son was always on the bench, his Father was always in the stands cheering. He never missed a game.

This young Man was still the smallest of the class when he entered high school. But his father continued to encourage him but also made it very clear that he did not have to play football if he didn’t want to. But the young man loved Football and decided to hang in there. He was determined to try his best at every practice, and perhaps he’d get to play when he became a senior.

All through high school he never missed a practice nor a game, but remained a bench warmer all four years. His faithful father was always in the stands, Always with words of encouragement for him.

When the young man went to College, he decided to try out for the football team as a “walk-on.” Everyone was sure he could never make the cut, but he did. The coach admitted that he kept him on the roster because he always puts his heart and soul into
every practice and, at the same time, provided the other members with the spirit and hustle they badly needed.

The news that he had survived the cut thrilled him so much that he rushed to the
nearest phone and called his father. His father shared his excitement and was sent season tickets for all the college games.
This persistent young athlete never missed practice during his four years at
college, but he never got to play in the game. It was the end of his senior football season, and as he trotted onto the practice field shortly before the big play off game, the coach met him with a Telegram. The young man read the telegram and became deathly silent. Swallowing hard, he mumbled to the coach, “My father died this morning. Is It all right if I miss practice today?” The coach put his arm gently around His shoulder and said, “Take the rest Of the week off, son. And don’t even plan to come to the game on Saturday.”

Saturday arrived, and the game was not going well. In the third quarter, when the team was ten points behind, a silent young man quietly slipped into the empty locker room and put on his football gear. As he ran onto the sidelines, the coach and his players were astounded to see their faithful teammate back so soon. “Coach, please let me play. I’ve just got to play today,” said the young man. The coach pretended not to hear him.

There was no way he wanted his worst player in this close playoff game. But the young man persisted, and finally, feeling sorry for the kid, the coach gave in. “All right,” he said. “You can go in.” Before long, the coach, the players and everyone in the stands could not believe their eyes. This little unknown, who had never played before was doing everything right. The opposing team could not stop him. He ran, he passed, blocked and tackled like a star. His team began to triumph. The score was soon tied.
In the closing seconds of the game, the kid intercepted a pass and ran all the way for the winning touchdown. The fans broke loose. His teammates hoisted him onto their shoulders. Such cheering you’ve never heard!

Finally, after the stands had emptied and the team had showered and left the locker room, the coach noticed that the young man was sitting quietly in the corner all alone. The coach came to him and said, “Kid, I can’t believe it. You were fantastic! Tell me what got into you? How did you do it?” He looked at the coach, with tears in his eyes, and said. “Well, you knew my dad died, but did you know that my dad was blind?”

The young man swallowed hard and forced a smile, “Dad came to all my games, but today was the first time he could see me play.

“Many people will walk in and out of your life but only true friends will leave footprints on your heart.”

-Anonymous

I was recently contacted by casting director looking for Russian basketball players–ages 21 to 75 for a new show for Budweiser called, The Big Time

see email below. If you think you have skills to play against level 2 basketball players..please call asap! and tell them you heard about this opportunity from us at RAJEon.com —- Thank you and Good Luck!!!

—————————
I am Janelle Randazza, a casting director with Radical Media, a T.V. production company in Los Angeles. I found your name through the Russian Basketball League group. I am currently casting a new show for Budweiser called, The Big Time, where we are giving basketball players a *second shot* at playing with the NBA.

We are specifically looking for Russian players–ages 21 to 75–and we don’t know how to find them! Do you know of anyone that would be interested in this show? We would fly them to Los Angeles, CA for one week to give them a chance of a lifetime.

This is a great opportunity to give current and former basketball stars a second chance. We are currently looking for HIGHLY SKILLED players who want a shot at playing with some of the biggest names in basketball.

We’d love your help in reaching out to any current or former basketball players who may be interested in participating in our show. Please feel free to contact me with any questions, or pass on my info to any players who meet our criteria. Our deadline to hear from interested candidates is July 8.

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Chief Rabbi Yisrael Meir Lau is a tall man who brightens any room with his Torah depth and stature. He is viewed as a someone who has achieved wondrous feats! From surviving the Holocaust and continuing on the Rabbinic dynasty that he hails from, to serving as the Chief Rabbi of Israel and now Tel Aviv—he remains a legendary figure to all of Jewry. On the complete opposite spectrum stands the legendary Lakers Center, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. Born Ferdinand Lewis “Lew” Alcindor, Jr., he had a prolific college and NBA career becoming one of the best basketball players of all time. In 1971 Lew Alcindor converted to Islam and changed his name to Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. To the naked eye it would seem that the only thing he shares in common with Rabbi Lau is that they are both luminous figures.
And yet, these two men—one a Jew and another a Muslim—are eagerly looking forward to meeting one another this July in Israel!
Why?
The former NBA star is making a film about none other than World War II, and will honor the final wish of his father. You see, Ferdinand L. Alcindor Sr., had one dying wish. He requested that his son visit Israel and meet the little boy that he personally rescued from Buchenwald and turned into a prominent Rabbi. This Rabbi is none other than Rabbi Lau!
Indeed, Rabbi Lau, who also serves as chairman of the Council of Yad Vashem remarked that, “the fact that such a famous basketball player, and a Muslim, is about to attach himself to the Holocaust issue is very exciting. I will certainly give my blessing to this initiative.”
Rabbi Lau said he clearly remembers how an African American solider came up to him during the liberation, picked him up, and told the residents of the German city of Weimer: “Look at this sweet kid, he isn’t even eight yet. This was your enemy, he threatened the Third Reich. He is the one against whom you waged war, and murdered millions like him.”
As someone who grew up in Los Angeles and followed the Lakers, I never thought I’d see these two figures mentioned in the same sentence—let alone meeting in The Holy Land! However, after reading about what Mr. Abdul-Jabbar intends to do with his film and his visit, I look forward to seeing these two legends of their respective fields work towards educating the world about the horrors of the Holocaust.